5 Pieces of Traditional Career Advice That Need to Be Retired ASAP
A frog trying to avoid looking tasty. (Keep reading and it’ll make sense.)
Traditional career advice makes NO SENSE for neurodivergent and disabled professionals.
Back when I was a content marketer (with undiagnosed ADHD) writing articles and resources for students and new grads, I remember thinking, “I would never take my own advice”.
I’d google articles and watch videos of people with way more experience and credentials than me, and cite their quotes in my blogs and social media posts. And people were liking and commenting, so obviously there were people out there who agreed. So I guess I was the odd one out.
Fast forward to today, and I’m living my life as a career coach - and I still think most of the advice I wrote about all those years ago was outdated fluff. These days, I use my experiences as a neurodivergent professional combined with my knowledge of best practices to help people navigate this crazy world of work.
And honestly, there’s a good reason I’m so fired up about getting neurodivergent-friendly career advice and resources out there. Traditional career advice isn’t just an absurdity - it’s a benchmark that puts disabled folks at a disadvantage. Because when your strategy doesn’t consider your life experiences and unique circumstances, it puts your livelihood at risk.
What’s more, it also has caused generations of neurodivergent adults to think they are stupid or broken. It’s like that saying about judging a fish about its ability to climb a tree. Trust me, if that tree was submerged in water, you’d be doing happy fishy flips at the top of the tree in no time.
Anyway, here’s a top-5 list of traditional career advice that needs to be retired ASAP.
“Follow your passion.”
I grew up in the 2000s where everyone was talking about “dream jobs” and saying “do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
But my immigrant parents instilled a different approach in me. “Get a well-paying job that will support you and your family.” “Choose something you are good at and become the best you can be.”
So I studied journalism instead of musical theatre. And I banked on my writing skills. I got a job in marketing. Meanwhile, most of my friends who couldn’t find work went back to school for a more practical degree.
Following your passion only makes sense when you have a safety net and a ton of privilege. The job market is on fire in the worst way - now is the time to let your brain lead, not your heart.
“Cast a wide net.”
How do you get a job without any experience? “Apply to every job, even if you don’t qualify at all.” “Make connections with other professionals, no matter who they are!”
The mentality behind this advice was simple: opportunity lies in unexpected places. And if you’re not actively pursuing every avenue, the chances of finding one that works out is lower. Basically, treat it like a numbers game.
This looks great on paper until you start to consider people who don’t have unlimited energy and capacity for random social interactions and writing a million resumes. Most neurodivergent and disabled people are lucky if they have the energy to hit “Easy Apply” at the end of the workday.
Believe me, no one is doing this. You’re not lazy - you just need a strategy that takes your limited capacity into account.
“Be your authentic self.”
Every time I hear this, I can’t help but laugh out loud. Because from my experience, employers aren’t looking for unique and interesting people to join their team. The priority always goes to the candidate who seems to be the most profitable.
And for neurodivergent people who literally have to mask day in and day out to minimize scrutiny and unwelcome interactions, it feels pretty ironic when our managers tell us to “loosen up” or “relax.” We know what happens when we let our guard down.
So we’re stuck in this weird limbo of not being ourselves to survive, but having to appear as authentic as possible in order to convince our coworkers we are human and not aliens approximating human behaviour.
“Eat the frog.”
When I first heard of this term, I was grossed out by the imagery. I figured the meaning behind it would redeem my first impressions. It did not.
Basically, to “eat the frog” means to get your most dreaded task done first thing in the day. Take the thing you hate to do and get it out of the way so you can move to more enjoyable tasks. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, I guess?
The logic of this advice breaks down when you realize that people rarely have the exact same capacity on a day to day basis. Some days, I wake up with lots of energy and it makes sense for me to use that momentum to get my most avoided tasks out of the way.
Other days, I start the day with less than half the capacity I usually have, which means tackling a high-effort or stressful task might wipe out my ability to work for the rest of the day. Not to mention, if I truly don’t want to do the task, my executive functioning might not be strong enough to let me even start the task.
“Don’t burn bridges.”
This advice encourages professionals to keep the peace as much as possible and not to “rock the boat” when it comes to work matters. It also implies not to destroy relationships because there’s always a chance that they could be someone you want to have on your side one day.
To be clear, I do not really condone exploding at any of your colleagues or managers. Not because of who they might be in the future, but more because you want to stay in control of the situation as much as possible. The emotional side of your brain should inform your decisions, but it should not be driven by it. Keep the logical side of your brain in control as much as you can.
That said, if you are in a toxic work environment, you are essentially sitting inside a pressure cooker. If you don’t make plans to transition out of that space in time, the chances of you having a messy relationship with your employer increase.
My advice? Set boundaries and find ways to limit your exposure to the sources of toxicity at work. Focus on developing a career transition strategy that works for you and your neurodivergent brain.
